Okay, so I thought it was smooth sailing after the alarm was fixed last Monday. After all, no more false alarms and water was staying in the pipes rather than imitating bubbling, natural springs. About the worse thing was Alarm Tech #2 telling Hubby that Tech #1 had no business making quotes on an updated system, as that's why they have Salesmen.
My dear Blog, never let your guard down when it comes to mechanical things.
Two days later I was at my desk when my cell phone rang. I glanced at the screen and it said, "Alarm Company". Puzzled, I answered and the woman began in that soft, soothing tone, "This is your alarm company. We've received a silent panic alarm at your residence and we've been unable to reach your husband. Law enforcement has been notified."
In my head I heard, "WHAT!?!?!"
Instead I said politely,"Thank you. I'll try to reach him myself." She thanked me and we hung up.
Inside my head, I told my own silent panic alarm to back down. It quivered silently. This was a first. We've never had a silent panic alarm go out. You see, I'm number 4 on the list of numbers to call. That means they'd tried the house, Hubby's Shop and his cell phone with no luck. Now the man is as bad as a teenager when it comes to his cell phone...I'm not sure he ever turns it off. Taking a deep breath to give internal panic something else to do, I began calling numbers.
Home. No answer. Casually left message, "Hey, what's going on? Alarm company called me and you have help on the way." Cell phone....left same voice message. Hey, maybe he's in the Shop since the Alarm Salesman's suppose to show today to upgrade our system. Sure it's before opening time, but that's when he'd want a salesman there. No answer. Wow, that must be some sales pitch.
Round two. Call the house. No answer. Well, considering what time it is, he's probably in the shower. But just in case....call Cell phone and Shop. Nothing.
Ten minutes have passed. Round three. Call house. Nothing. Leave message in a more urgent tone, "Silent panic alarm went off. Where are you?" Cell phone....didn't even bother to leave message. Shop phone...,"I don't know what's going on, but I'm on my way home!"
This would probably seem like a good plan if I lived in the same town I worked. There's over 20 miles between home and office. But something was off. And being the always prepared girl scout that I am, inside an evil whisper noted, "What if his hip went out and he fell...and used the key fob alarm to summon help? Obviously he's nowhere near a phone."
So I calmly call our Main office and explain as quickly as possible that I'm concerned something might have happened to Hubby and I would ask my Tai Chi class to leave. The Office Manager later told me I was so calm that she didn't realize how serious it was until I called back later. Gave same explanation to class and they hustled out the door, content to finish outside while threatening me if I sped.
Hey, I actually put my car on cruise control so I didn't get a lead foot. As I silently, then loudly, cursed the truck 4 vehicles ahead of me doing 35 mph on a road with nothing but curves, I tried one more round of calls. Nothing. I then called Hubby's pal, who's with the responding department, in hopes he could at least go check until either a Deputy or I arrived. His phone just rang...and rang...and rang. I didn't hear a voice mail prompt, so I hung up. Clear of the idiot driver, I was ready to test hyper speed when the phone rang.
And I answered with a sweet, loving, "Where the hell are you!? And are you okay?"
By the time he finished explaining, I feared we'd both get arrested for murder.
Turns out Bourbon the Lab, lover of all things wet, had found a mud puddle. So Hubby left the cell phone in the house to give the dog a bath. Then another Alarm Tech, (#3) pulled up to upgrade our system. Salesman never showed but Hubby just figured someone got their wires crossed and assumed we wanted the upgrade as soon as possible. He put the dog in the house, but didn't grab his phone. The machine in the house is the only one we've ever had that doesn't BEEP when there's a message.
Hubby was standing in the yard with Tech #3 when a Sheriff's Deputy pulled up. Hubby was puzzled, even more so when the Tech checked his watch and said, "10 minutes. Not a bad response time."
When Hubby questioned that, the mystery was solved. Tech #3 said, "Oh, I activated the silent panic button to see what the response time for local law enforcement was. That was pretty good."
Thankfully Hubby knew the Deputy. As the officer walked up, Hubby asked the Tech why he hadn't been informed of the test. The Tech insinuated this was more "real". It was then Hubby discovered that the Tech hadn't even called the Alarm Company! Which is when he dashed back into the house to find messages from me that went from everyday jovial to borderline panic.
I think Hubby chewed the kid out...in front of the Deputy. I went one step further and wrote the phone company. We've done business with them for 38 years and they're great! But they contract this type of work out. You don't know you have idiots working for you if no one mentions it. I sent a copy to the Sheriff too, with a cover letter thanking him for the quick response time that none of us had known was coming. He's a new sheriff and things have improved on his watch. Thought he should know I recognized that.
So Blog, if you don't mind, I'm gonna try and live the rest of the week in as boring a fashion as I can. Next time we'll have a fun chat. I promise.