Hubby has always been a great storyteller...to the point I have to look him in the eye to see if a mischievous twinkle is present, indicating something is afoot.
were in college and dating, he worked at a convenience store. I was at his
parents’ home one night when he said, “You know the cat that always hangs
around out front?”
I nodded.The cat constantly tried to get inside when
it was cold outside and getting him back out took exasperation to a whole new
“Well, he got in again.I was busy with customers and didn’t have
time to shoo him out.Then I forgot
about him.Toward the end of my shift, I
went into the cooler to stock beer.And
there he was.Stiff as a board.”
“Dead?” I asked as Hubby’s Dad sat
down next to me.
“I wasn’t sure.So I took a rag, put some gas on it and held
it under his nose.To see if he’d come
“Did he?” I asked, almost feeling
sorry for the little trouble maker.
“Boy did he!” Hubby exclaimed, his
hands pantomiming the cat’s every move. “Second pass under his nose with that
rag and he jumped straight up in the air.Then he started running through the store like he was on fire, knocking
stuff off the shelves.I don’t know how
many times he zigzagged past me while I tried to catch him.Then all of a sudden, he just stopped in his
tracks and keeled over.”
“Dead?” I whispered, as his Dad leaned
“No,” Hubby replied calmly.“He just ran out of gas.”
Hubby’s Dad slapped himself in the
forehead and yelled, “I don’t believe it!”Seeing the look on my face, he added, “He told me this story last week
and I just fell for it again!”
Which is how I learned to look for
that twinkle in someone’s eye.
I'm home with some kind of cold and pulled chest muscle combo. (When I mess up, I do it big time). Between the coughing and that HUGE pot of soup I had to lift for work Tuesday onto a stove top UP and exceeding my height abilities, I've had better days. :) ( I know, I made the pot of soup and I should've stopped adding ingredients, but it was good).
So I've avoided the news today as much as possible so it doesn't take away the breath I do have. (Although I do know David Cassidy perhaps can now R.I.P.)
So here's to all of y'all, hoping you have a day filled with happiness and just the right amount of food!
For years you've made me smile with grandbaby pictures when the world was evil or just plain mean. Thank you.
For a while, my family requested that photos of the latest addition not be shared, until all the adoption stuff was ironed out. Whatever it was they worried about originally is no longer a problem. The fact they have two adopted children 16 years APART in age might be one in the future. :)
I post this because Gracie (20 months) seems to have the same expression as the bear: he use to live in my office, but he went home with her. Hope this one makes you smile. :)
It's been an exhausting few weeks getting the calendar for our non-profit charity ready. Oh, creating it was fun! Chasing after Board Members to keep reminding them I didn't have ad copy (or payment for such!) was the tiring part. We use a fantastic company in Louisiana, Fox Printing, allowing me to do everything online. All was well: I'd downloaded the calendar, proofed everything and it was headed to print. Then I went through my invoices to make sure I had one for everyone...which is when I made a horrifying discovery.
I'd left out a $350 ad! What made it worse was this guy was a repeat customer for the calendar and one of the first to get everything to me.
Trying not to panic, I sent an e-mail, asking if I could redo just one page, at the end. Two minutes later the phone rang and my rep Melissa was telling me to take a deep breath, we'd get it fixed. I jokingly told her I'd always wanted to yell, "Stop the presses!" but not like this. We got it fixed, putting delivery just one day off. (Yeah, I'm paying for my mistake. Delivery would've been yesterday but since it's UPS...no delivery until Monday).
In the meantime, while I was waiting for the Guys to get their stuff together (I should point out that Hubby had his completed...then again he has me to nag..um, remind him) I worked on the annual Shop Calendar for Hubby. This started years ago when we had our first Chocolate Lab, Smoke. It began with a hunting theme but over the years has morphed into whatever happens during the year to spark my creativity. I must say, Kim Ayres, I know how it must feel to have a subject like me who hates being photographed: Smoke would see the camera, sigh and slink away. Hubby still has the calendars in the Shop and his long time customers often ask to peruse through them. There's about 17 years worth, with the addition of Boudreaux and now one starring Bourbon.
Ah Bourbon. Hubby calls him our problem child, while I prefer the phrase, "all boy". Hubby will proclaim him stupid, I insist he's just stubborn. Last night proved my point. Bourbon has been wearing a shock collar (I know, I didn't like the idea either but on a scale of 1 to a high of 7, it's on 1). He's only gotten zapped three times in two weeks, now preferring to stop what he's doing after the warning vibration. B. usually just wears it in the Shop but last night Hubby left it on to teach him a lesson about stealing my pillow off the couch. He actually perches like a vulture, waiting for me to forget to move it, then he snatches it and runs off. Twice I walked away and he did nothing. Scott took the collar off. Fifteen minutes later I forgot and Houdini snatched the pillow. And yet, when Hubby and I both said, "No!" at the same time, he dropped it in my hand.
I tell you all this to explain this year's calendar theme. And yes, although I downloaded both calendars the same day, Hubby's is already back and hidden until Christmas.
The original artwork:
The cover for 2018: (No, you're not imagining things. I came back and updated to the final cover).
I'll let you know if this year's theme is a hit or not. I'm guessing many giggles will ensue.
dog out so husband can sleep off pain of wrenched back.(Condition courtesy of 13month
old, 95 lb. enthusiastic Lab who escaped from truck at Post Office on Tuesday
and pretended to be deaf.Said escapee
proceeded out of parking lot at high speed to chase a log truck, narrowly
missed getting hit by a car, toured the houses next door and only came running
when Hubby put truck in gear as if to leave him.)
back in, hand Inmate #1 a dog treat.He
runs to sit on couch and eat it, eyeing Hubby warily.
on Hubby.Condition update: may not be
back.Could be kidney stone.
to stay home to keep eye on Hubby rejected.
dog to be good and stay clear of Hubby.I think dog nods.There are
rumors of a shock collar in his future.
at work.First two events of my day
canceled to attend mandatory District meeting.Place note on door for Group 3 to expect me at 12:30 p.m..
track objects to last night’s dinner. Run to bathroom.
news.Learned Press Secretary is
daughter of former Gov. Mike Huckabee.
to bathroom.Not sure if it’s dinner or
the morning news.
to meeting.Sit through power point
presentation dealing with integrating online registration.Concept applies to only five of the 50 people
into groups.Supervisor tells us to
count off, “1, 2, 1 ,2…” to split us into two groups for 20 minute sessions.
asks, “Am I a 1 or a 2?”
urge to smack my forehead.These people
work with children after school.Supervisor and I help them count.One looks confused.I resist urge
to smack another forehead.
system puts me in a group having nothing to do with my job.Learned 4H isn’t just for raising cows/chickens
to show at county fair.Now they teach
computer coding and rocket building.
to 2nd group.First group
still being held hostage.
at watch.Have to be back in 30 minutes
to let in my group.Exit to car.
turns traitor.Without warning, engine
won’t turn over.
my accumulated knowledge of vehicle malfunctions.Two minutes later, call Hubby….who is at work
30 miles away.
instructed to check battery cable connection.Send photo of gizmo placed over battery to ensure that the message,
“Remove cover to check battery” isn’t a trick.Why hide the battery?
I mention it’s hot and humid outside?
cables. Didn’t help.Cursed.Didn’t help either but it made me forget the
heat for a moment.
to the rescue, on her day off.She has
jumper cables.(And yes, we know how to
can’t get close enough to my car.Asks
me if I can back up.I simply reply, “I
can’t” and watch that, “I did NOT just say that!” look glint in her eyes.
has to leave parking lot, go around block and enter from the other direction.
office (50 feet behind me) in case Group 3 wonders where I am.Get answering machine…because they’re all
and I get car cranked.Report to
Hubby.Am advised to IMMEDIATELY go to
auto place down the street and have battery replaced.
insists on following, yet somehow ends up ahead of me due to traffic lights.
the office.Get a human.Tell my sad tale, add I’m on my way to get a
new battery, so if Group 3 calls, I’ll get there.
to self: people filled with BBQ can only mutter, “Okay” after a trying personal
moment is shared.
the Forbidden Zone…a.k.a. auto parts place, where women are generally invisible
or huffed at.
waited on by woman I actually see eye to eye with.We exchange notes on the dangers of being
short.She tests my battery…it’s at half
purchase tests my wallet.When did
batteries get so damn expensive?!You’d
think it was gold plated.Mine was the “Silver
Level” .Honestly, I expected a little
guy installs battery as SIL and I wait.Hand him battery cover, which fell into floorboard in 2 pieces.He notes one is upside down.Feels need to literally point that out while
reading the crap about removing cover to get to battery.Lose cool chick points.
I mention how dang hot and humid it is?
to work.Find twice the number expected
in Group 3.Apologize profusely.They’re in cars, eating lunch.And smiling.
Hubby to give update.Hear shock collar
has just been delivered.
to self: don’t jump out of truck at Post Office and run around being nosy.
is filled with moments that make you go, “ARGHH!”.But senior citizens have experienced enough
of those moments to show sympathy instead of anger.
goal.Uneventful ride home.
to self: country deer have their eye on the ladies right now, not cars.