Wednesday, November 18, 2015

The Rest of the Story

I appreciate everyone’s input on the nephew/gift dilemma.  Oh sure, it’s only a dilemma because I made it one.  Having a fully functioning conscience does make life tricky at times. 

I discussed everyone’s thoughts with Hubby.  He cautioned me that while he agreed in principle, I could be opening a Pandora’s box of family ire just to prove a point.  I thought about it last night.  I thought about it this morning, sitting in the tub.  That’s when something I’d previously written whispered, “It’s called compromise”.

Right.  It’s always tough when your own words come back to haunt you.

Okay.  Take 2.

I came up with a new plan.  Hubby smiled when I shared it.  The plan was simple, one which offered choices and essentially put the ball in nephew’s court.  After all, how will he ever learn if no one ever challenges him or points out that life consists of choices and consequences?  Suddenly, my “mountains out of molehills” sense of guilt vanished.  This wasn’t on me.  It was on him.  So I sent him this text at 8:31 a.m. this morning.

Good morning!

This year for your birthday I’m giving you a choice.  Do you…
1.  Want a gift
2.  Want me to make a donation in your honor to help a wounded soldier?

This choice is yours, but I need an answer by Friday.
 If I don’t hear from you, I will make the choice.  Have a good day.
Aunt (Me)

At 8:32 he replied:

Was his answer predictable?  Sure.  He’s almost 16.  But I wanted him to make a choice.  I wanted to discover if this kid, who spends a couple of weeks each summer on missionary trips with his Mom, would be charitable when it came to giving up something.  I wanted to gauge where he was on the growth scale.  And now I know. 

Did my experiment fail?  No, because I got an honest answer.  Hell, I was impressed to even GET an answer.  I even limited my reply to him to, “Okay”.   In the words of me, (see above)  ‘life consists of choices and consequences’. 

And I never said what kind of gift he'd receive.

UPDATE: Due to the speed with which I received an answer from the nephew, (who has ignored all 2 of the texts I've sent him in the past month), my final decision is he will receive a gift card for HALF of what I intended to spend....the other half is going to our charity.  At least I know the soldiers appreciate it.   :)

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