Saturday, April 30, 2011

For Kim: My Favorite Scottish Photographer

I like to take pictures,  but I'm no photographer.  Kim, our resident professional photographer,  recently shared a beautiful shot of his daughter Meg and a dandelion.  Go take a look and make sure you visit his photo site as well.  It's worth the trip!

I joked that I don't see dandelions as weeds, but as wishes in the making.  Here are a couple for Kim from my back yard.  Go on...make a wish!

BEFORE

 AFTER

 

Friday, April 29, 2011

I Need a Nap

First there was hiding Easter eggs last Saturday, followed by the usual cooking for the seniors on Tuesday.  

Then Senior Fitness games came along Wednesday and Thursday.   Let's just say I was stuck working with a younger I-know-it-all-cause-I've-been-to-college-and-I'm-still-going-to-college co-worker.  Didn't matter I already have my college degree, it didn't take me 6 years to get it and that this was my 19th Sr. Games.  No, we were going to do things her way...or else.

"Or else" was implied.  I'm 5'1" and she's almost six feet tall.  Five feet of that is all attitude and not the kind your Mama encourages.  

Long story short; for the "Softball Throw" event, which is exactly what it sounds like, we traditionally only measure the longest of each participant's three throws.  Miss Thing decreed we would measure all three.  (Repeat with me... "or else").  I explained this would slow us down too much as there were many participants and other games to handle.  She didn't care.  We were going to do it HER way because it was HER event.

You'll think I caved.  Because we did it her way.  

I'd prefer to think of it as the Seniors were suppose to have fun, not witness a power struggle, comical though it might have been.  So up and down I went, three times per participant, like a cork bobbing in the water.  

"It'll be over soon," I kept mumbling to myself as she continued to yank so hard on the measuring tape that she almost planted me face first a couple of times.  I don't know what her problem was, but she obviously had one and I was the closest target at hand.

And it would've been over soon.  But, not exactly a stickler for Rules and Regulations, Miss Thing kept allowing more and more Seniors to line up to throw.  They're suppose to sign up in advance.  As in three weeks ago.  By this time, I figured "or else" might get me tied up with the measuring tape.  Up and down I went, the sun shining hotter and hotter on the top of my lily white head.

I learned three things from this attempt at diplomacy:

1.  Having to move a tape measure back and forth isn't bad, but stooping down to hold it in place while it's whipped around by another angry soul is hard on the knees and the equivalent of doing 120 leg squats for over an hour during a hurricane.

2.  Lily white people who generally avoid the noon day sun should wear a hat.  Sure, it wasn't my event to handle but that doesn't take away from the fact the top of my head is shining red when my hair parts.

3.  The seniors had fun.  They laughed.  Giggled.  Cheered each other on.  Mission accomplished.

I'm just thankful that we don't meet again until Monday night's Awards Banquet.  Because right now, they're walking a whole lot faster than I can.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Some days....

...I'd rather just be a kid.  My biggest goal would be to try and figure out how someone built so low to the ground could actually climb this tree.  For the record, it's not an oak.  It's the pecan tree in front of our house.  The old gal is probably 150 years old.

So instead I stood at the bottom and looked up.  

And tomorrow, when I am surrounded by senior citizens having their annual "Olympics",  I will mentally climb that tree and watch as they try to re-capture their own spirit of childhood fun.


Monday, April 25, 2011

Good Morning Monday!

I stumbled across this morning and it made me smile.  So if you'd like an unexpected grin, let this Drama Teacher from Glasgow help you out.  

Sorry, they've disabled the embed for this one, so you'll have to click on the link.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Friday 55

It's Easter Weekend...time to leave a 55 word treat for the G-Man.    Don't forget to share your creation with him.

Sure, the costume was skimpy.
And I had no time to prepare.

But when she asked me to pose for a calendar centerfold,
this is not what I had in mind.

Are you playing me girl?

Because the last time I checked,
I wasn’t a Chocolate Easter Bunny.

I was a Chocolate Lab.
With dignity.



Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Like a Diamond in the Sky

On the way home today I heard a story about the completion of the Space Station.  Now the size of an American football field, plus the end zones, it's easy to pinpoint in the sky as an elongated, shiny object as it crawls by.  Well... if you know when to look.  According to the expert, the best times to try are those near sunset and sunrise, when the Space Station passes closest to Earth.  But if you need to be VERY precise, let NASA help you out.

This NASA link allows you to practically pinpoint the Space Station's next appearance in your backyard.  The information is provided by the Johnson Space Center, Flight Design Division, Orbit Flight Dynamics Group. "Sites are chosen in order to provide a representation of the world's demographic distribution. To compute sighting data for sites not listed here, please use the NASA Skywatch applet which will allow you to enter your exact location."

Utilizing that applet, I  plugged in my zip code, where I found the choices of viewing the  "Next Pass", "Next Sighting", "Weekly sightings" or "All sightings".

You can see this twinkling mass of space real estate with the naked eye.  To get a better glimpse, try binoculars, which will help you follow better than a telescope. The expert ended his presentation with, "And when you find it,  wave at the 6 astronauts/cosmonauts on board.  They'll probably wave back."

Now according to NASA's calculations, in a couple of hours, I've got some waving to do.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Truth is Stranger, Part 2

Best name ever for a political candidate?  Probably the one of the newly elected President of Nigeria, the former V.P. who finished out the President's term when the man died after an illness.


I kid you not.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Truth IS Stranger Than Fiction

Below is the headline of a news e-mail I received today. Why yes, that was the sound of a small soapbox being drug out of the corner.  I'll keep it short.

(Reuters) - President Barack Obama said he challenged Republicans to try to repeal his landmark healthcare reform in private budget talks last week, taunting his opponents with a question: "You think we're stupid?"

Why yes, Mr. President, I do.  

But don't feel bad.  I think the same thing about Republicans. It's why I vote Independent.

Oddly enough, I never thought I'd grow up to believe the worst thing for my country would be a 2 party political system. (Yes, I'm omitting all the other um...interesting ones).  Problem is, those 2 systematically fight...and there's never a party to make up when all the shouting is done.  

Then again, maybe the shouting never stops.

So, Ladies and Gentlemen of the House and Senate....(or should I say Boys and Girls?)  I'd like to point out how simple life could be if you'd quit wasting time keeping score.

We're the UNITED States of America.  Not the Blue and Red fiefdoms of a geographic area, soon to be reapportioned thanks to the Census and the Justice Department.  So how about shut up and listen for a few moments to We the People.  That would be those of us who pay taxes even when the percentage seems unfair.  We balance our home budgets on what you people don't take and squander.  And almost have enough left over to purchase a tank of gas.  Almost.

Now Mr. President, with all due respect, could you kindly finish THE FIRST FOUR YEARS before you start planning for the next four?  And for the record, some of us were raised to believe that "private" conversations were suppose to be just that; private.  No wonder you kids can't get along.  No one follows the Golden Rule.  The Biblical one, not the Wall Street version.

What happened to the grown-ups of my youth?  Oh yeah, they all grew up to be cast members in "The Emperor's New Clothes".

And I'm just the kid who grew up to see that the Emperor is still naked.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Friday 55

 It's that time again.  Write a story in 55 words, then go share it with the G-Man.


“I’m late. I’m late.  
For a very important date.  
No time to say hello, goodbye, I’m late, I’m late, I’m…oof!”

Alice landed a punch to the Rabbit’s soft belly.  
His white bunny butt hit the ground.

“Sorry,“ Alice cooed sweetly, patting his head.  
“But we talked about this.   
Weekends aren’t for scheduling.  
They’re for relaxing.”

Saturday, April 9, 2011

On a Lighter Note

Inquiring minds want to know.  So let's just say I used my Friday 55 to vent.  Cheaper than an ulcer and you folks are always kind and understanding.  So in return, I'm sharing a little ditty my Mom passed along to me.  Laughter is truly the universal language and weekends with laughter are even better.  Enjoy!

And no Map, you're NOT in this category.  Not for at least another 40 years.  ;)

Friday, April 8, 2011

Friday 55

It's that time again...even if I'm a little late today.  Write a story in 55 words, then go share it with the G-Man.



The package’s return address signaled a ticking time bomb.   
Opening it was verification.

On top, a book. 
 “The Power of Positive Thinking”
Beneath, an angry explosion of family mementos and old photos, 
one ripped apart.

It was…sad. 
Reality skewed by refusing meds.
The sender’s mental illness was winning.

Returning family photos didn’t erase the family.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Bus Ride

I haven't ridden on a bus in oh....about two weeks, when I went on the infamous field trip with the nephew.

Every week Titus and her poetically minded buddies, with head Driver TFE, get on the Poetry Bus.  The idea is that the week's "Driver"  picks a theme.  To ride along, all you have to do is craft a poem utilizing said theme.  Poetry is not my specialty. 

But due to southern guilt over leading Titus down a bumpy road to a bad photographic illustration of her theme, I decided my penance would be a poem.  After all, she has a plan here, which involves a good deed and fund raising for Arthritis Care across the pond.

Titus had us on a veritable ark, where she listed several animals to chose from.  Of course I picked one of the more um....unusual of the species, whose picture is below.  My "ticket" follows.  

Of course after she reads this, my penance might be that I have to PUSH the bus.
Did you ask to take my photo?
Must you really gape and stare?
Yes, I realize my appearance seems
to be crafted from parts labeled “Spare”.

I’m not a mouse on steroids.
Nor a midget kangaroo.
I’ve radar ears, but no bat kin.
I’m no minuscule monkey.  They throw poo.

That sound you heard was not a scream.
I was simply calling Mum.
We have to be home by sunrise.
Before the larger eaters come.

To review. I’m agile.  Acrobatic. 
Fearless, leaping tree to tree.
To you I seem small and startled.
Well you look kind of strange to me.