Sunday, December 6, 2009

THAT would teach 'em!

My best friend works in a hospital's billing department and often sends me jokes featuring "Maxine". If you're not familiar with her, she's not Hallmark's standard hearts and flowers card character. No, Maxine is a tell-it-like-it-is senior citizen. Some of the funniest e-mails I've ever gotten had some pearls of wisdom from Maxine. Here's another one, courtesy of my best bud, pertaining to how messing with America's Health Care System might not work out the way Congress intends.

Maxine's Perfect Solution to Senior Health Care

You’ve probably heard the idea that if you're a senior, you need to suck it up and give up the idea that you need any health care. A new hip? Unheard of. We simply can't afford to take care of you anymore. You don't need any medications for your high blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems, etc. Let's take care of the young people. After all, they will be ruling the world very soon.

So here is the solution. When you turn 70, you get a gun and 3 bullets. You are allowed to shoot one Senator and 2 Representatives. Of course, you'll be sent to prison where you'll get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head and all the health care you need! New teeth...great! Need glasses? No problem! New hip, knee, kidney, lung, heart? Well bring it on. And, since you're a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income tax.

And who will be paying for all of this?

The same government that just told you that you’re too old for health care.


Corker2 said...

HA! Now that's pretty good. I have read a number of Maxine cartoons, and always thought that whoever writes that cartoon, tells it like it really is.


steven said...

hello hope - sorryfunny!!! i laughed because it's all too true i'm sure! steven

mapstew said...

Now I know what to do. Pension plan? Fuckit!

(Can we get a Double in prison?)


Anonymous said...

LOL...I thought that was just great. Thanks for sharing :)

Bill ~ {The Old Fart} said...

How True Hope, I am still smiling and Chuckling. Thanks for sharing. Oh, I love everything that Maxine has to say.

enchantedoak said...

Such intriguing ideas that Maxine comes up with. You gave me a good giggle at the end of a busy day. Thanks!

hope said...

Corker, I think deep down, Maxine is my hero. :)

steven, you were suppose to laugh. :) Although the thought of getting rid of Congress is tempting, I doubt any of us would pick up arms and put that plan into motion.

map: if Maxine were in charge, she'd probably BRING you a double and ask you to hold her glass while she sat down. ;)

You're welcome Thom. Sometimes you just need to start the week with a giggle.

Bill, some days I think the world needs more Maxines and less air headed celebrities. ;)

enchantedoak, Maxine is my go-to gal, especially when it comes to dieting advice. She's a riot!

Titus said...

So funny, so true, so get angry!

Susan at Stony River said...

This is a GREAT idea. It's time governments stopped bending over for the bankers and corruption, and started paying attention to the ones hurting most! Go get 'em Maxine ROFL

Peggy said...


I love this, good old Maxine says it straight. What a mess this whole health care thing is.
I'm worried when I do need treatment, I'll have to take a number! Tisk!
Have a good week!

hope said...

Titus, if we couldn't laugh a little, we'd all be crying. Government can't run the health care programs they have now for Seniors and the poor...I don't WANT them helping with my health!

Susan, perhaps all governments of the world should bow down before the Ambassador of Common Sense: Maxine. ;)

Peggy, the thought of those knuckleheads having anything to do with me breathing, scares the crap out of me!