Friday, November 20, 2009

The Answers: Did you spot the lie?

Here are the answers to Thursday's post to spot "False" amongst the truth of me. If you're looking for my Friday 55, just back up one post. Thanks!

1. I have ridden an elephant.

When I was 12, I spent the night with a friend and her Dad promised to take us to play Putt-Putt (a.k.a. Carpet Golf or Kiddie Golf), then to a small circus. The Putt-Putt place was closed but "Dad" was a golfer. He took 2 putters/ golf balls out of the trunk and let us play. We went across the street to the circus but we were a day early and they were just setting up. Disappointed little girls must look pitiful. A worker put us atop a baby elephant, one at a time, and walked it around a huge parking lot. The man wouldn't accept any money from "Dad". It was one of the coolest moments of childhood. Thanks Mr. Ross, wherever you are!

2. I gave a speech accusing Lincoln of being superstitious & Jefferson of being weak.
As Director of Elections, I gave speeches to high school students before registering them to vote. To make a point, I said people often vote based on the information in a 30 second commercial. Without using names, I gave them 5 candidate “sound bites”, then had them vote for President. Yes, I manipulated the exercise, choosing bizarre trivia about "good" folks and career highlights for a "fallen" politician. It was fun watching their utter amazement at the good people they'd cast aside as "crazy". For the record, Lincoln wouldn’t sit at a table if it made him the 13th man. Thomas Jefferson had such a weak speaking voice he PAID someone to give his speeches as he watched. And who did they elect? Richard Nixon.

3. I worked with a temperamental illusionist known as "The Amazing Randi". (Sorry Titus, it's true).
My Jr. year in college, I was Chairman of the Entertainment Committee; the title went to the person who'd do the work instead of just hanging out with the bands. One act was "The Amazing Randi". You may know him as James Randi, psychic debunker, who offers a $1 million reward to anyone who can prove that ghosts, psychics, etc. are real. The money is still unclaimed. He continues to be a thorn in the side Uri Geller, the guy who claimed to bend spoons with his mind. At Randi’s show we all learned how to "bend spoons with our mind". Google him and you’ll find a white bearded imp. (Hmmm, I feel a blog post coming on).

4. I have hearing like a dog.
Weirdly true. I hear high pitches most folks can't. It’s actually annoying because it literally hurts my ears. I discovered this as a child. Entering a neighbor's Drug Store, a high pitched whine made me wince. The neighbor noticed, asked what was wrong, then got an odd look on his face. He sent an employee to see if they'd forgotten to turn off a “silent” alarm. They had. He advised only women & children heard it. Men appeared immune to it, corroborated by my Dad, who kept looking at me as if I was nuts, and the fact the pharmacist had been there over an hour and hadn’t heard it either. A routine hearing test for school confirmed my hearing range is um…different.

5. I've never been drunk.
Okay me Irish and Scottish pals, sit down. Tis true. Can’t get drunk if you don’t drink. Okay, I had one sip and it turned me against alcohol forever. A neighbor handed Dad a beer on a hot summer afternoon. He took a few sips and put it down. Hours later he remembered the beer and asked me to throw it away before baby Bro found it. I did, but not before tasting it. Seems warm, flat beer kills the taste buds. Never touched it again. Smell actually turns my stomach.

6. I've been serenaded by the Moroccan "Johnny Mathis".
He was one of hubby's archery customers and supposedly on his way to Las Vegas for a singing gig. I was convinced he and hubby were setting naive me up. The man asked for a request. The only thing I could think of to test him was "Chances Are". Apologizing for not having the music with him, he began to sing a cappella. Although he sounded like Mathis, he was actually BETTER. But it was odd having this man singing soulfully to me as my husband sat at his workbench, smirking and making arrows. Yes Map, I blushed. More than once.

7. A U.S. Senator whined to me that he had to pay for his own lunch.
I once wrote my Representative to politely inquire how he could vote to give himself a raise while the rest of the country struggled to get by. Pointing out that I too was a public servant, I noted my salary was less than half of a Senator's pay….in the 1950s. His terse reply was that I didn’t understand. He had living expenses and had to buy his own lunch. Gee, that doesn't make ALL of us politicians, does it?

8. A man tried to blackmail me, but it backfired.
He threatened to blackmail me. But not for money. No, the currency he was trading in was revenge. And he wanted to see me squirm. I had introduced a family buddy to a girl friend, who proceeded to pop up everywhere he went. Today, we call that stalking. Frustrated, he called to say he was bringing someone by my house. I hung up, washed my hair, then waved Mom off when the doorbell rang. I just knew the idiot was lying. So, painfully shy me snatched open the door wearing my worst pair of jeans, a ratty sweatshirt and waist length wet hair falling like strings around my freckled face. There he stood with a Cheshire cat grin and a guy I’d never seen before. Mortified doesn't come close. (Map, I nearly burst a blood vessel on that blush). The buddy introduced us, then began to treat me like an audience for [Insert insult comic of your choice]. The stranger said nothing. And he was cute. I went inside as soon as possible. The buddy phoned later to gloat. The next day the stranger showed up on my doorstep. Alone. More than once. And yes, I married him. The buddy claimed the last laugh because I was stuck with the guy for life. I disagreed and we referred to it as "the blackmail that backfired".

9. I got paid to tell police officers where to go.
If you've visited before, you know I was a Dispatcher for the Highway Patrol. But it was always fun to watch people's expressions when I told them that. With a straight face.

10. I am terrified of the ocean.
This one's false. I figured someone would think my past 55 about Dad nearly drowning me in the ocean would be proof. But going to the beach every summer was the highlight of childhood. Even now the sound of the ocean can lull me to sleep. As a kid I once asked Dad what I would find where the ocean touched the sky. Rather than explain about the horizon, he told me there were wonderful people and places on the other side. He'd been in the Navy, gone to amazing countries I'd only read about, so I believed him.

Seeing all of you here just proves that Dad was right.

Congrats to Bill {the Old Fart} and Peggy for guessing correctly. See Susan, always go with your first choice. ;)


Mama Zen said...

#2 is an excellent idea!

mapstew said...

Was it the blush that got him! :¬)


Susan at Stony River said...

I love, LOVE those last thoughts of your Dad and the story of the horizon!

I love even more that you and I did the same thing and second-guessed. D'oh!! Darn. Shoulda gone for 10, and nearly did LOL.

This was a splendid list, I really enjoyed it.

Peggy said...

I quessed it...oh my gosh!

I read your directions and you said to pick the one that didn't fit.
Yay!!!!!I had to read them all multiple times before picking . I should buy a lotto ticket tonight!

Rachel Fox said...

Hey - I got it right too!

Jimmy Bastard said...

Hah! Nicely done indeed, and here was me convincd that I had it right.

Rachel Fox said...

Delete me comments...maybe all of them. I knew you'd never been drunk...but I think I got the rules back to front!
Whoops. May be coming down with a cold...

steven said...

warm flat beer - hmmmm - okay i can see how that could push you away from warm flat beer but really . . . . !!! ha! this was fun. steven

hope said...

MamaZen it was loads of fun...for me! One of my favorites was when they guessed "Kennedy" and I could say, "Yes. JACQUELINE Kennedy."

Map, he thought the blush was cute but if I tell the truth (and this confession I hate) he said I had a cute butt. {Yes, I just blushed}. Dad had always teased me about having a big butt for a small girl, to which in teenage angst I'd reply, "Well it comes from YOUR side of the family!" Dad thought that was hilarious. ;)

No Susan, thank YOU for finding something so much fun to do. I hope some of the folks here pick up on it and play along as well.

Gold star for Peggy! I worried that the word "terrified" would give it away. ;)

Ah Jimmy, I hope I didn't send you into shock with the confession that I don't drink. But I'm not one of those preachy souls who believes no one should drink. No,to each his own and have your fun as long as you don't drive home. ;)

Rachel, it's okay. I had that kind of day all week. x

steven, the funny part was that because I didn't drink, in college at those entertainment events I had to sell the beer. First time in 15 years the beer sold and money came out right. :)

And my father-in-law, bless his heart, always tried to find something I might like to drink. After tasting about 10 different wines, I hugged him and told him to just give up. For their 25th wedding anniversary party, he brought me one of the beautiful silver goblets. I shook my head but he put it in my hand and said, "As long as you're holding this, people will quit trying to bring you a drink." The sweet man had gone into the kitchen and poured me a Coca-Cola over ice..into that lovely goblet. :)

Anonymous said...

One sip of warm beer does not a drunk make. :)

pilgrimchick said...

Never been drunk? Amazing--and admirable. Wish I could say the same.

Dan. said...

Damn, I missed this. I love reading about peoples amazing facts, and you have quite a list there hope. And I would have guessed that the ocean one was the untruth.

Would I have won some amazing prize?

Why am I always late to these things?

hope said...

pilgrimchick, I know but someone has to represent the 1% of the world. :)

Dan, you were busy checking and double checking to the 9th power, your commas. ;) There was no prize but you do have the satisfaction of knowing you were right.

And how often does a woman say to you, "Dan, you were right."? ;)

Poetikat said...

I came in late on this whole thing, but I was voting for not being drunk. Oh well.

hope said...

Kat, it's okay. I was never a "normal" kid...too sensible for my own age. ;)

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