Wednesday, March 18, 2009

A Historical (or hysterical) Moment

Telemarketers. It's okay. I'll wait. Finish the eye rolling, grumbling and um...descriptive words of your choice. More than four letters allowed. I understand they're just doing a job but they have become the bane of our existence and have ruined many a meal. Well, not at our house. Not anymore. We signed up for the "Do Not Call" list and most of those calls that began five minutes after picking up a fork have ceased.

The work phone, however, is now their latest place to play.

Today I answered the phone at work, only to be greeted by that voice we've all become oh-so-familiar with when asking for Technical Assistance with a computer. Yes, that sing songy, outsourced voice belonging to some guy in India stuck in a room with a herd of his companions had found me at work.

"Hello," he began, reading quickly off his prompting sheet. "I need to talk to you about your copier," he added matter-of-factly, as if we already had some type of relationship.

"I don't have a copier," I replied politely. Well, not really. My job did not provide one so my old printer/copier came to live with me at work.

"What?" he asked, sounding incredulous as he employed the old keep-them-talking-on-the-phone-until-you-regain-control-of-the-conversation tactic.

"I don't have a copier," I repeated cheerfully.

"What?" he asked, sounding more worried than skeptical. I imagined him paging ahead in his manual for How-to-deal-with-people-who-don't-understand-the-question.

"I work for local government," I explained patiently, refusing to yield the conversational floor to him. "I don't have a copier in my office."

"What?" he asked, truly perplexed that someone in the modern world was copier-less.

"You'll need to talk to our Purchasing Agent, Mr. Smith. He handles all of our-"

The last sound I heard before the connection was broken was, "No copier?"

So make note for historical purposes: today a Telemarketer hung up on me.

1 comment:

Susan said...

LOL Oh I love new telemarketer strategies; I'm definitely going to use this one.

"Good afternoon madam, I'd like to talk to you about triple-glazed replacement windows--"

"Thanks, but we don't have windows."

Oooo I LIKE it. You're right; telemarketers are torture.