Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Twilight Zone

Ever have one of those days at work which is so bad, you wonder if you've lost your mind or if it really IS the rest of them? I call that Wednesday. Hopefully it's not a trend I'll have to repeat.

All that angst and anger, however, followed me into my dreams. I woke up exhausted. You see, all I did last night was apply for different jobs. The brain is a dangerous thing when it contains a creative imagination fueled by disgust. I can't remember all of them, but the last "job" I was inquiring about had me yelling at a Fireman, "These pants are too danged big for me! How can I fight a fire if I'm about to fall down because I tried to walk? Hey! Where are you going with my jacket?" I woke up with a sigh.

Geez, am I losing it?

This morning I stopped in the grocery store to pick up a couple of things so I can flee straight home when my 8 hours of hard labor has concluded. You know how when you're in a not so great frame of mind, you always get behind the woman with the screaming baby? Well, the one ahead of me had a happy baby but a full cart. I had 7 items, the guy standing between us had five. I always let someone with less than 10 items ahead of me when my cart is full. She looked at both of us, taking stock of our purchases. He won. He had flowers. Mama let him go ahead and pretended not to see me.

That was okay until the woman behind me pushed her cart into me. I'm not tall, but I should've been seen at least like some form of barrier as I stood there. Ironically her toddler was the one who screamed. You know that high pitched squeal that only babies can make, the one which makes fingernails on a chalk board non-existent? His was that times four. His sister shushed him and Mom giggled. One of the other cashiers finally woke up to see how long the line was at this sole register and said, "Ma'am, I'll take you over here." I know the drill. It was my turn but I wasn't about to move. Good thing. Giggling Mama almost slammed me again with the cart until the cashier came to her rescue. I'll have to admit, I've never seen one like it before. It was shaped like a little blue car. A two seat convertible allowing harried mothers to con their kids into believing this was an adventure, not shopping. The basket in front is so small, I suppose it's in direct proportion to a child's ability to tolerate grocery shopping. At least your ankles are safe now, I thought, glancing over my shoulder to see if there was another early morning Mama shopper aiming for me.

Nope, there stood Snow White. In living color, not technicolor.

"I'm losing it", was my first thought. A second covert glance confirmed at least my vision is working. There she stood, like an escapee from Disney World, a fully costumed, sweet smiling Snow White, oblivious to the stares she was receiving. Or maybe she liked that and was good at keeping in character, all innocent and the like.

Isn't Halloween tomorrow? I wondered, checking to see if the brain still worked. It's been under pressure you know, between work and the 95% complete root canal.

Oh lighten up! huffed the portion of my brain where sense of humor dwells. You know what you sound like?

I have every reason to be Grumpy, I shot back during this mental argument. And then I laughed.

And in the role of the Seven Dwarfs....ME!

That I'm almost the correct height is a starting point. Then throw in a root canal tooth, which had a mild infection that flared up. At first I was too Bashful to call the Doc and ask him to change my prescription to one which wouldn't make me a walking list of side effects. I'm Happy I did. Now if only he could write a prescription to cure what ails me at work. You see, right now I'm Sleepy because I went to bed Grumpy, leaving me feeling a little Dopey this morning.

As I looked at Snow White once more, my nose began to itch. That's a sure sign the antibiotic is working. Go ahead...just call me Sneezy.


Dave King said...

You're not losing it, you're doing the sensible thing: working it out of your system. Very thoroughly, I should guess.
Hope you have better days from now on - better and better.

Rachel Fox said... one has lost it many times...I would say you are definitely losing it. If you don't fight it too much it's OK.

Susan said...

I LOVE the seven dwarfs, excellent wind-up of the day. Personally I think the world would be a better place if supermarkets could legally put tranquilisers in the ventilation system: kids would be quieter, we'd all be more relaxed, everything would be fine.

Supermarkets can be hell.

hope said...