Monday, May 19, 2008

Glass Half Full. Yeah...if I fill it

It's Monday. Somehow that's bad enough.

I didn't just wake up on the wrong side of the bed, I was NAGGED out of it. By two lovesick dogs who just HAVE to go see their girlfriend or their souls will shrivel up and die.

Um...no. It's 5:00 a.m.. For utilizing human logic, I get hit in the head with one cold nose and jabbed in the ribcage by another. There was some grumbling involved. I'm not sure which of the three of us was most displeased.

After such an imposing start I decided that if I was to survive Monday without doing jail time, I'd have to balance that which annoys me with, "Well hey, at least I have..."

The Bad News: my newly acquired acute bronchitis [which, I might note, isn’t cute at all]. As much as I hate up close and personal contact with the medical world, it was a relief to have a doctor verify I’m merely wheezing and not evolving into a tea kettle on high boil.
The Upside: This means I can be fixed. Reassured that I am not allergic to anything medical [pollen doesn’t count], he wrote me prescriptions. Four to be exact.

The Bad News: There are requirements for prescriptions. Nope, the first isn’t money and/or health insurance, but it helps. I had to navigate the slippery slope of a breathing treatment, a steroid shot in the butt and chest x-rays. Pain and humiliation put to the tune of wheezing and a cash register ringing in my ears every time someone entered the room to "help" me.
The Upside:
I take really good lung pictures. That might actually be my best side. The breathing treatment slowed the wheezing. That’s good. I’ve missed sleep.

The Bad News: Once you start on steroids, you can’t stop cold turkey. No, you must taper off. From 6 pills a day down to one. On Day One I discover this modern miracle comes with a railroad-spike-in-the-brain headache for an hour.
The Upside:
The spike alternates points in your gray matter, thus you are not forced to pull hair out of the same spot. And it wears off. Just in time for the next dose.

The Bad News: Add to acute bronchitis the acute misery of 2 Lovesick dogs howling sorrowfully at their most unfair, indoor captivity. Since Hubby went fishing and our yard is not fenced in, it’s “Take the Kids to Work Day”. No, I don't trust them alone in the house for 8 hours in their current condition.
The Upside: Well, I haven’t been lonely. Having a tennis ball shoved at you is one way to be reminded that everyone could use a break. Plus my "Kids" have made the seniors happy.

The Bad News: Gas prices that…don’t even get me started.
The Upside: Um. I’m sure there is one. Like not having to saddle a horse and ride it for 25 miles.

The Bad News: Watching too much of my paycheck go into said gas tank because I’m being asked to do 2 jobs for the price of one. Travel money not allowed. Travel mandatory. Using polite language and logic to point out to the Boss that after 5 years, the co-worker I was sent to rescue still believes Computer Solitaire is a job skill. After all, if I’m there with the kids, why does she need to watch them?
The Upside: Having a kid hand me a note that says, “You’re a nice lady. I like hanging with you.” No, it would be wrong to hit her up for gas money.

The Bad News: Mondays are not always fun. Or profitable.
The Upside: At least there’s only one a week.

The Bad News: Time for another steroid pill.
The Upside: I’m going to back away from the computer now. Oh look, one of the dogs just THREW the tennis ball at me. Guess it's time to play.

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