Thursday, March 13, 2008

Take a Deep Breath

Today was one of those days that, if you grew up in the era I did, you look around to see if Allen Funt has risen from the grave to bring his Candid Camera series back to life. Translation: As the day went from sublime to ridiculous, I kept waiting for Funt to pop around the corner and say, "Smile, you're on Candid Camera!" Let's just say it was the kind of day that made me ponder if it was legal to allow so many I.Q. challenged people to gather in the same place at the same time without it being a political fundraiser.

I got home and found amongst the nine million catalogs that gather in my mailbox on behalf of my aunt, who's in the nursing home, one gem that made me smile. No. Laugh. Until my sides ached. It's called "Catalog Favorites" and has the um....best?...that catalogs have to offer if you have lots of money and time on your hands. Lots of silly t-shirts and plaques, among other dust collectors. The first page had a plaque that made me smile. "Take a Deep Breath...you're HOME now."

The t-shirt pages have stuff that your Mom might not approve of but the tamer ones are funny. Like,
"I'm Confused. ...wait, maybe I'm not."

"I use to care but now I take a pill for that."

"Sometimes I wonder 'Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?' And then it hits me."

"Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons for you are crunchy & good with ketchup."

Then there are the ones you can show your Mom.
"Lord keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth."

"Mom likes ME best."

"Ask not what your mother can do for you. Ask what you can do for your mother."

They have doormats with sayings such as "Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit..look who's here!" Then there's the simple, "Hi. I'm mat."

Okay there were a few I laughed at that I have the good sense not to list here. In case Mom's reading. But the plaque on the last page left a smile on my face that erased the annoying parts of today.

"Remember, as far as anyone knows, we are a normal family."

Enough said. ;)

1 comment:

Bonnie said...

My all time favorite tshirt saying.....

Shhhhhh! I'm hiding from the voices in my head.